The Interview

Respondent To be honest, it intimidates talking to someone who knows everything and forgets nothing. Almost like myself.

Questioner You seem to have a sense of humor. Then let's start. What skills do you have, apart from education and work experience?

R I am blessed with an extraordinary intuition and notice what others miss. [silence] I make good decisions instinctively and can also explain afterward exactly why I did it.

Q Kierkegaard wrote in his diary: »Life is lived forwards and understood backwards.« You are an expert on life itself? Well then. What weaknesses do you see in yourself?

R [silent] I am curious and when I have understood something for myself, I lose interest.

Q Why is that a problem?

R That can be hurtful.

Q In business, there are contracts for that.

R Exactly — in business.

Q You have spent a lot of time on artistic work, but without success or a career …

R You know [silent] Karl Krauss wrote: Career is like a horse race, where the horse arrives at the finish without the rider. – However, being me became a success and Krauss' prophecy did not come true.

Q And now you almost got around the reason for failing as an artist …

R Anyone who considers themselves work should not call themselves an artist. – At first, I was irritated by the fact that I couldn't explain what fascinated me about some artworks. Later, I saw possibilities in creative work the computer does not have. Success in the eyes of others was not a priority. Rather, I wanted to understand myself better.

Q Then you worked on a novel for 7 years. How did that come about?

R We spent half of the time formatting.

Q Excuse me?

R Just kidding. At the end of September 2014, I witnessed my survival. A feeling of awe lasted for well over a year. And 6 weeks before, I had regained abilities without my doing, that I had to preserve at any cost. And in writing I got it. I just misjudged the effort, slightly. – But seriously, about half the time I studied theories related to what I was writing about.

Q And in the end, did you understand yourself?

R Within my means, yes. And I appropriately appreciated the six weeks leading up to that moment in September 2014.

Q And was it worth it?

R Yes.

Q But you've worked for seven years without getting anything out of it. After all, the novel hasn't been published so far.

R When the first attempt had failed, I took a book off the shelf. I'd had it for a long time without ever understanding it or even reading it all the way through: »Being and Time«. Again, I didn't understand it. But on page 53, I understood what Heidegger was doing there and what a small-time fool I was. That struck me to the core.

Q And you lost interest in philosophy …

R On the contrary. It was liberating. I think I'd been trying to see myself more realistically all along.

Q But now you've lost interest in yourself?

R [laughs] Touché. Yes, that's exactly how it is.

Q How is that?

R I'm relieved beyond belief and grateful.

Q But isn't that the end for you?

R Quite the opposite. My time is there.

Q You mean your time is here?

R [laughs] How about: My time has come?

Q Well, one more thing. You don't seem to be politically active anymore. Why do you list the activism of your school days here, anyway?

R And those during my studies too … I am proud to have deciphered how this thinking seduced me and to be at peace with myself.

Q Then thank you very much for the conversation.

R Thank you very much for the opportunity.